allinpartsandpieces:

Evanescence l Tourniquet

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1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

I don’t have an Ipod, but on my Ipad shuffle:

1. Meatloaf, Bat Out of Hell

2. Marillion, Kayleigh

3. Evanescence, Tourniquet

4. Phantom of The Opera

5. Theme to Roswell, I Shall Believe

6. Beatles Yesterday

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Neil Gaiman, author of Sandman and other great stuff, but I wouldn’t know what to say and would just look like an idiot. I t would be cool to just meet in a coffee shop somewhere like Greenwich and just chill and chat x Mines a Chai Latte.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“yes dear, that’s because in Anhk Morpork everyone knows Commander Vimes”

4) What do you think about most?

The counselling training I am doing at the Berne Institute, and what kind of counsellor I will end up being and that whole part of my future. I have essays so it’s in my mind a lot. Very exciting.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I Love You” … Fotunately, it was from my wife x

6) Do you sleep with or without  anything on?

I wear nothing in bed except a smile. I always have a glass of juice on my bedside thing, and my ipad, my radio on tuned to Gem FM, and my inhalers. The whisky glass is usually empty or nearly empty.

7) What’s your strangest talent?

Watching endless Dr Who and never ever getting bored

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Everybody is beautiful in their own way, everybody struggles secretly, everybody deserves to win x Girls. Boys. Everybody.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Any poem i feel an affinity to was written for me, that is the nature of poetry, so Yes. But not in my own lifetime, no. I have a strange affinity for Shelley (Percy Bysche) x

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Pathfinder Camp as a leader twenty five years ago. Not something I plan to repeat, ever.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I am scared of needles, not strange but true x

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

No, never quite seen the attraction

13) What’s your religion?

Religion is about man-made rules. Faith is what happens in the heart. I’m not big on religion. I have faith.

I have been a committed Christian since 1986 (Oct 18th, 10.55 at night). I am more committed at some time than others and I am far from perfect, Christian or otherwise. But I love my faith and the God who inspires it and I apologise to no-one for it.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking and enjoying beauty (people, creation, whatever)

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind the camera, which is why there are so few pictures of me. I like my picture being taken and i’m not shy, but I usually end up taking the pictures

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Evanescence every time. Amy Lee is a personal crush. The songs are immense and deep, sometimes with a Christian back-ethic.

17) What was the last lie you told?

I try not to tell lies, and would rather say nothing. I feel really really bad if I have to lie. My brother in law says my honesty is both my best and worst quality. Don’t ask me a question if you don’t want an honest answer. Feel free to ask me questions though … the ask box is up there, in the corner, looks like an envelope x

18) Do you believe in karma?

I believe that everyone gets what they deserve in this world or the next

19) What does your URL mean?

Socrates was an ancient times philosopher who was condemned to drink poison for corrupting the youth of Athens … His crime was telling them to think for themselves and never stop asking questions, to not just accept what people in authority say just because they are in authority. He believed you could always find the truth if you ask enough questions. He also said that true wisdom was admitting you don’t know. 13 is the closest thing I have to a lucky number, but I don’t believe in luck. X

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My geatest weakness is isolating myself and being all reclusive and anti-social

My greatest strengths are my mind and my heart in equal part, seriously

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Angelina Jolie, Stephen Fry, 

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Only once, a very long time ago, it was freezing cold and a really bad idea x

23) How do you vent your anger?

I don’t get angry. I get frustrated and very sarcastic when faced with idiots. I have to be careful with the sarcasm in public.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

Books, lots and lots of books

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Neither. I prefer texting, Facebooking, Tumblring of course and real life face to face

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes. I have overcome such terrible things and could have been so different. I am very happy with who I Have become

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

My wife’s mobile phone alarm clock going off at silly o’clock and kept on snooze every ten minutes

Children laughing

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I had been loved as a child?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Alrhough I am a huge sci-fi, fantasy and horror buff, I don’t believe in aliens or ghosts

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm … Minnie Mouse sitting on my wifes pillow

Left arm … Tall glass of orange juice

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing, I have almost no sense of smell

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

On my last holiday we went on a free trip to a Christmas market and had to endure a two hour presentation first on matresses for old people … hell on earth … And the Christmas market was just a church rummage sale … Always read the small print x

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

In the US, the East Coast (again). I loved Boston for the music and friendly pubs, Washington, Georgetown at night, Honesdale sunbathing on flat rocks in the baking sun watching kids going down rapids in tyres, the old plantations, Miami for the beaches (and girls) and Florida for the parks

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Amy Lee of Evanescence

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is to live. Life is a journey, twists, turns, ups, downs … Just live. (and enjoy)

36) Define: Art.

Taking the energy and feelings and thoughts and everything else that lives inside me and finding some way to show somebody else what it all means and how it is.

37) Do you believe in luck?

I belive that while we cannot control everything around us and random things happen to us all the time, both good and bad, we make our own luck by the decisions we make, and owe it to ourselves over the course of our lifetime to make good decisions x

38) What’s the weather like right now?

Bright and cheerful, a day of expectations and full of unwritten potential, which I am wasting by doing this questionnaire in bed on an Ipad. :)

39) What time is it?

Here in sunny Leicester it is 08:54 according to the aforementioned ipad

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I have been driving on four wheels for ten months. I have already written off one car, although I don’t think it was my fault. I rode a moped for over ten years and crashed a few times, mostly in the snow.

41) What was the last book you read?

Book Five of Game of Thrones (Songs of Fire and Ice) by George RR Martin. 

Before that, Snuff (discworld) by Sir Terry Pratchett

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

I can’t smell gasoline unless I’m on fire

43) Do you have any nicknames?

When I was young I was called Gerkin, which I hated. My friends call me Gaz

I quite like the idea of Captain my Captain from Dead Poets Society

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Unfortunately something to do with Pirates and Scientists, and before that, The Muppets four times. The hazards of working with kids x The last adult film I watched was Warhorse (and by adult I mean grown up not adult) x

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I had a kettle of boiling water poured over my right foot when I was eleven. Apparently my screams were heard two houses away. I thought it was an accident at the time, but years later my mum told me she did it so that we would get taken away.

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yes, but once I had it I let it go again. It was a beautiful Red Admiral. I was 9 years old and the small garden was full of butterflies and I tried so hard to catch a butterfly without damaging it.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

I don’t do obsessions, but what I like I like intensely and for life

Evanescence, Dr Who, Discworld, Gaiman, my PC and Ipad and of course my beautiful wife (I probably should have put her first ooops). I like people, but I’m not always very good with them (I don’t really do small talk).

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

Usually lying down, but I’m always open to try new positions x

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Almost certainly, but I have no idea what it was and care even less

50) Do you believe in magic?

I believe in the magic of creation, the magic of life, the magic that lies in the face and heart and soul of every person I meet, virtually as well as in real life

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

No. Grudges hurt us more than the other person and make us bitter and twisted out of shape. I wouldn’t let anyone have that kind of power over my own life. Seriously.

52) What is your astrological sign?

The Star of Bethlehem (adopted)

53) Do you save money or spend it?

I am so rubbish at saving money. I am 47 and I have no savings. Terrible. I like eating out too much, and books, lots of books.

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Vegetables and wraps, for some kids I worked with yesterday. We chopped the veg together and made tortilla wraps and ate the lot … Good fun

55)  Love or lust?

Both x

56) In a relationship?

Married since 1995, April 1st (April Fools Day),

My wife thinks I’m having a relationship with my new Ipad

57) How many relationships have you had?

Three … Sarah, Sally Ann and my wife Kelly. I am still friends with Sally Ann for which I am very grateful x And I married the third, for which I have no regrets x

I was always very cautious in relationships and more than a little scared.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No, but I can touch other people’s noses with my tongue

59) Where were you yesterday?

At work mostly, and swimming, which largely consisted of getting my head dunked under water alot

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Minnie Mouse’s pink dress and boots sitting on Kelly’s pillow

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

Nope, still in bed (see earlier answer)

62) What’s your favorite animal?

Small Lizards, gheko’s, also tarantula’s and snakes. I have a photo on my phone of me holding a tarantula and with a snake round my neck

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Attentiveness and a good heart

64) Where is your best friend?

Babysitting (my best friend is my wife)

65) Spit or swallow?(;

Neither

66) What is your heritage?

Mixed, mostly English and Jewish

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Reading on my Ipad, finished Game of Thrones Book Five. Wonder what I shall read next.

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Bright Morning Star, Angel of the Morning, Leader of the Host of The Army of God before He Fell 

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Of course. Anyone who says no to this is lying. Sex is part of life.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

No. I am too reclusive and don’t pay enough attention to my friends. But when I am with them they are the centre of my world and focus.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Rescue the dog and run like hell

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a. I would tell the people that matter to me. I think we should talk about death and dying and laugh and cry together. It is not something to be afraid of.

b. I wouldn’t do anything different, except work less and take time to meet one by one with each of my friends in coffee shops to talk and say goodbye properly.

When it is time, I don’t want to die in bed. I want to sit in the sun, drinking a long island tea and say goodbye to the world.

c. I am afraid of the pain, but not of dying. I will close my eyes and when I open them again I will see if my faith in God was justified (as I believe it will be) …. No more tears or sadness, just the Silver City and Him x

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

Love, every time (although love without trust is not truly love … Is that cheating?)

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Almost anything from the eighties

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

9 2 7 8

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Hard work, faithfulness, not giving up when things go wrong or get hard, and of course, sex. Also, enjoying things together and having fun. Being who you really are.

I saw a cartoon this week of a person asking an old married couple what the secret  of their marriage was. She replied “I come from an age where, if something was broken, you fixed it, you didn’t throw it away.”

77) How can I win your heart?

By smiling and being gentle … Gentleness is the thing I find most attractive in others. Being a Dr Who fan wouldn’t hurt. Attentiveness and hugs, lots of hugs also good.

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Creativity is defined by who we are and what we feel. Insanity is defined by others as a response to how we express our creativity. Two sides of the same coin.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

When I stood on a railway track on Saffron Lane and I was 13 years old and I decided to live. It wasn’t the first time I had gone up there to jump. This day was cold and blustery and the place was deserted, and while I waited for a train I reflected on the crap that was my life. I stared down the track way off into the distance and decided that tomorrow things might be better. They couldn’t really get any worse. So I decided to live. I was there for about forty minutes.

80) What size  do you wear?

36 waist … I need to lose about a stone, but I’m not in any rush x

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Sum Ergo Cogito (i am, therefore I Think) …. I am also hopefully having this as a tattoo on my right forearm soon … Should be interesting with a needle phobia x

82) What is your favorite word?

Discombobulated

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

The queen of hearts, the playing card

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

“Really?” which I got from Naomi at work, she is a very bad influence

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

James Blunt ‘No Bravery’  seriously great song

86) Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors?

I love all bright colours, so my favourite colour is Rainbow

Sometimes I wonder if I should have been a girl  :)

87) What is your current desktop picture?

Me and Kelly looking posh outside the Waldorf Hotel in London

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I wouldn’t want anyone to explode (but if I did it would be someone who hurts children, probably in the sex industry)

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

This one

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Carefully climb out of bed, keeping an eye on the mummies, grab a dressing gown and creep out of the room and then breathe (at least they weren’t weeping angels, although that would be cool)

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Invisibility of course, or flight, but definately invisibility ( so i could fight crime obviously … Nothing to do with sneaking into showers, nope, definately not, cough cough) x

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The first time I had sex

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Being raped

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Amy Lee (although I probably wouldn’t have the courage or the energy)

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Goa

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

I don’t think so

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Yes, a few times, but not recently, and always somebody else’s car. Thankfully no-one has yet thrown up in mine x

98) Ever been on a plane?

Yes, many times. I love that bit where you go up and up and just start to go through the clouds, and if you were outside the plane you’d just get very very wet

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Be ExtraOrdinary. End Wars and Poverty by controlling our Governments instead of Letting them control and abuse us. Love and Be Loved. Stand up straight, head up, shoulders straight, look at the world and smile. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or sad long term …. Life is too short. Live. If you don’t feel confidant, Bluff … No-one will know.

100) Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr.

I only continue following blogs I like and love.

I have been a Christian for 26 years (and alive a bit longer than that). (For Buffy fans)

I like Christmas because I like presents, and despite the much heralded cliche, it is definitely better to receive than to give  :)

But Christmas doesn’t do alot for me faith wise. I like (and believe) the stories, the birth of Christ, etc. But for me Christmas and the sending of Jesus into the world don’t really have much to do with each other.

And as you may or may not know, both the birth and death of Jesus were hijacked by the Emperor Constantine in the 4th century and mixed with Pagan ceremonies to make them more acceptable … Christmas with the feast of Saturnalia, and Easter with the Goddess Eostre.

But for me Easter is special. The death of Christ was the penultimate part of Gods great plan, His Son dying for me, forgiving my sins (and my friends know I am far from perfect). I need the grace and humility of God.

And then the Resurrection. The power of God in Christ. The God of second chances, and third chances and fourth chances. Victory from the jaws of defeat. A stark reminder that death is not the end. 

I love Easter ( or at least what Easter celebrates) x

(via amessexpressed)

Actually, this time I’m quoting me, in my journal:

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2003/03/phrase-only-write-what-you-know-is.asp

(via neil-gaiman)

(via neil-gaiman)

spiritualinspiration:

www.facebook.com/naeemcallaway

This is hugely relevant to about four people I know right now.

We can easily get so stuck on the past and also on blame games that it can cloud our future and continue to hurt both us and the people around us, even when we know it’s happening and we don’t want that.

As it is written ‘where sin (selfishness) increases Grace increases even more’

I feel heavy hearted when I see the pain caused by not being able to genuinely forgive and genuinely move on and the heartbreak it causes.

Surely forgiveness and grace are easier ways to live.

(via chloenis)

Anonymous asked: So, if you don't like something, why do you take the time to bash it? I thought Christians weren't supposed to be judgmental douche bags.

Christians are allowed to have opinions about stuff just like everybody else. The difference is that I didn’t call anybody nasty names just for having an opinion x

OK

THIS IS NOT SHERLOCK HOLMES

Sherlock Holmes has a real mythology and character behind it, from Irene Adler to pipes and badly played violins.

This is just an action film / bromance which wouldn’t have sold as well if they had just called it ‘Action Film / Bromance’, so they attached a name that people would know, added a few bits to make it seem like Sherlock Holmes (and failed miserably) and sold it as Sherlock Holmes. 

Read the books and then rewatch the film. It is not Sherlock Holmes. It has nothing  relevant about Sherlock Holmes in it. Being clever doesn’t mean it’s Sherlock. Occasional obvious plot items doesn’t mean it’s Sherlock.

Benedict Cumberbatch, though set in the 21st Century, typifies Sherlock Holmes and adds to the Mythos (and is a damn good series).

This is just an action film disguised as a Sherlock Holmes Film.

Rant Over (for now) x

Garry x

(via kayleelovesstrawberries)

(via kayleelovesstrawberries)

Isaiah 41:10

So here’s today’s blog.

Why do I believe in God, specifically the God of the Bible.

Firstly let me say that I do not expect everyone who reads this to agree. This is not about bible-bashing, just that this is what I feel like writing about today. Agree with it if you want. Disagree with it if you want. Everyone has their own journey.

I became a Christian in October 1986. It wasn’t really something I planned to do. I had been arguing with Christians at the Christian Union where I studied (now DMU). Problem was that for me there only seem to be three alternatives. Either this all happened by chance/evolution or creation.

Chance, chaos theory, no order, no reason, no cause and effect - that doesn’t seem to me to be something to base a life on, much less anything else except perhaps madness. I want my life to mean something more than random chance. 

Evolution, I have to say, has to me always seemed deeply flawed even before I became a Christian. Evolution cannot explain the irreducable complexity of the human eye (it could not have evolved because if any part of it is different it doesnt work, we are all blind and all die … it couldn’t have evolved). Also, if evolution is a constant part of life then where are the transitional fossils, the proofs of the nmove between one species and another. There are none, not one single transitional fossil among millions. Evolution is a nice idea, evolving, becoming better than we are … I just can’t see how it can be true.

That leaves a Creator. A watch needs and implies a watchmaker. Creation needs and implies a Creator. And I also found that deep inside, in a deeper part of me, there was something that wanted to believe and perhaps already believed in a Creator God. This was a huge shock to me at the time.

And of the different Creator God faiths, I have to say the Christian faith seemed most believable …. a God who is always there; a God who feels both anger and love, power with humility, justice with compassion … a God who is and remains fully involved in both the world and individual lives in ways we do not always understand. I think believing in God and sometimes ranting against believing in God is somehow built into our lives, our core of being.

I suppose i could explain how God has changed my life, how justice and humility work together, how God allows suffering and why, and so many other things …. but that is not really my purpose today (it might be, on another day, I don’t know yet). 

For now this was just about my first step in believing in God, as much logic as faith, as much struggle as believing. In the end it always goes back to the basic question … If God is not real …. how did this all happen and why, and what meaning does that have for my life, my purpose, my death?

Regards as always

Socrates (Garry) x

Wisest is He who knows He does not know (the original Socrates) x

(via amessexpressed)

I think this is how I feel at the minute (this week, this month, probably the past month or two);

I have too much to do, and although I have enough time to do some of it, there is so much to do that I don’t really have the motivation to do any of it. I feel overloaded.

I’m not getting stuff done that needs to be done.

That’s my not so insightful blog for today. 

p.s. I’m not depressed or anything, I still like my life. I’m just fed up and overloaded. x

Regards

Garry x

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In keeping with my new new new years resolution (because ints now March obviously), I’m writing rather than just reblogging.

The photo set above kinda fits with my past four days.

I’ve been at The Berne for four days, which is a Counselling Training Place in Kegworth. Two days of that was counselling and two days training. I love the Berne, it has rapidly become one of my spiritual homes. It is a safe place to deal with emotional baggage and other stuff.

For the first two days I went on what is called a Process Marathon, which is basically each of us telling our own stories and talking in a safe way about some of our deepest issues. Parents reading this should be aware that every single person there had issues with the way they were parented … a sobering thought for mums and dads.

I talked about some of the stuff from my childhood, which was an abusive childhood for those who don’t know. And I talked about some of the consequences of that for me now, including the amount of whisky I drink and how I manage that. There was also lots of positive stuff about the positive ways in which I’ve changed and broken away from my abused background and become different to my father. 

All in all it was an exhausting but incredibly worthwhile two days and I will definitely be doing it again. Other people’s stories were equally amazing, as was their courage and gentleness.

The weekend was equally amazing but in a very different way, as we looked at emotions and feelings, what they are, what they mean, how they can go wrong and leave us feeling trapped or caught in a cycle, and what to do about it. Again, very demanding but incredibly worthwhile as the teaching makes us (me) look at my own emotions and feelings and work some of those things through.

And that’s why I chose the wonderful Anya, the perfect illustration for today’s blog. x

Be safe and don’t hurt yourself or anyone else with what you feel. x

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I’ve decided to write more stuff on my blog instead of just reblogging what I like, and I thought I’d start with this.

There are definitely right and wrong choices … pretty much any choice which hurts others or hurts ourselves is always a wrong choice (unless it’s the lesser of two harms, but that’s rare).

There are right places, but they are not always where we think they are and there are more of them than we think because we think some of the right places are wrong places and we miss them instead of learning from them.

Anywhere that we are right now where we can learn and grow and make our choices can be a right place. There are far more right places than we think.

Also, I believe that we are each of us thinking OK people who have the capacity to choose and think and in some way take control of and change our lives and directions. I accept that this is easier for some than for others.

This means that we all have the ability to turn the wrong choices into the right places.

This morning I had to drive through an area I had been avoiding because of the many lanes and high speeds and lots of roundabouts and motorways. But today I had to go through that place despite my anxiety. I breathed slowly, readied myself and set off, calmly and in control. Then I went wrong and headed towards a motorway away from where I wanted to go (for those who know Leicester this was Fosse Park). Stupidly, I missed an exit that would have got me back on track. I calmly drove on until I got to a roundabout, managed to cut across several lanes and turned back on myself to where I needed to be.

There are all sorts of lessons there, about not forgetting my Ipad Sat-Nav, but more widely, about facing fears, staying calm and going with the flow until I can get back  on track, and about learning from my mistakes.

Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici 

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